MPOZI

Mpozi Talbert

I only met the man once while out on my firt Art/ Wine tour of the city but he made such an impact on me.

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this...it's not like I knew him on a real personal level..one night I met him in his studio where he was doing a live mix for everyone to hear.

Jen and I had not been out together to see the town and see the art that it had to offer. We heard about an city wide "open house" that went on the first Friday of every month. Towards the end of the night we we out to visit all the artists in Fountain Square. A huge warehouse where all kinds of artists lived and worked. Reminded me of what Chelsea would have been back in the day of Andy Warhol.

We didn't know anyone at any of the places but we were open to meeting anyone. The crowd was very diverse....mothers, fathers, kids and every race of person you can think of. We heard of a live music event being hosted by a gallery in the warehouse called the Big Car. The show was not set to begin for about an hour so we had plenty of time to kill. As we were trying to figure out what to do for an hour I hears some reggae music comin fromdown the hall and I liked it. It was kind old school with something new mixed into it. We both went to investigate.

This is when we met Impozi. He made us feel so welcomed just with his smile. He was in the middle of mixing but made room in his room for us to sit and enjoy our wine and listen to his music.

He told us about how he picked out his music and what it meant to him. Jen and I both danced in the hall and in his room. He made our night so much fun. As we were getting ready to leave he handed me a cd with his newest mix on it. On the way home Jen and I listened to it and recapped the night talking mainly about him.

Watching the news the other day I caught the very end of story about a photographer that had died suddenly in his office. I thought it had a picture of Impozi but I was not sure. I ran out of the room and told Jen what I had seen.
"I'm not sure about this but I swear there was a picture of Impozi on the news right now."

We turned the channel to another news cast and there it was.....A story on the man we had met that night.

Jen and I had returned back to see him on other occasions but he had not been around. I wanted to know him better. I did not take the news of his death too hard since we had not been real godo friends or anything but today and yesterday while listening to his cd for some reason I'm having a real hard time with it today. I have been on the verge of tears eversince I got here. I have been reading posting about him all morning and looking at photos he took. Everyone has the same story about him...He left a huge impact on people all over the nation with his photos and personality.

I called Jen just a few minutes ago to seee if she wanted to go to the memorial service with me. She agreed and said we could go after I get off.

I'm so sad today because of his death and I really should not be.

Clive Law

Fathers Day!

So...Fathers Day was a blast!

I have been trying for about a month now to talk to my boys Xavier and Abel but their mother has been refusing to answer the phone and will not return my messages.

Well on Fathers Day I called in the A.M. and found that she had disconnected her phone, this way I really can't get in touch with them. I don't know what she thinks she's doing..hurting me, well yes but more importantly she' s not realizing that it's the kids she hurting. Making them think that I don't call and that I don't want anything to do with them is only going to make them mad at her when they find out the truth.

Jen was so nice to me on Sunday though...woke up and she had two cards for me. One from the Cats (which was really funny) and one from her. I wanted to cry but I held it back. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She made me my favorite breakfast ..Bacon and Eggs!! Yum!!

I was in a bad mood all day but I was trying so hard not to take it out on Jen but it just kept coming out that way. I apologized to her many times yesterday:(

It seems that every time we go to a certain part of town we are always in the middle of somethinghappening and it's usually not good.

While we were exiting off the highway onto the street we needed we stopped at a red light. There was (as ususal) a man out there asking for personal donations to help him out when a car with tinted windows puled up in front of him and us. A man (punk boy) got out of the car walked a little towards him and threw the remainder of his drink all over him. I was instantly pissed and so was everyone all around us waiting in traffic. Who the fuck does this punk wanna be gang - memeber think he is. I wanted to get out and beat his ass but, they had drove off.

The funny things was that while they were throwing drinks on people they had not noticed an unmarked police car right in front of them! HA HA HA BITCHES THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!! The police officer immediatly pulled them over just about a 1/2 block from where this happened. I could still see everything from where I was stopped. The cop drew his gun, I saw the passenger (guy who did it) open the door and fall out onto his face taking cover and putting his hands out. The driver was pulled out of the car and slammed onto the hood (cop was pissed) then threw his ass on the street with his partner in crime.

We were in a turn lane so we had to drive away but I came back just to go by the police car and if I could see them I was going to stop just to flip them off and laugh at them!

By the time I made it back I seen a few more cop cars coming from all directions..WTF??
I drove past the scene and I could not see the guys anywhere. They bolted on the the officer...fuck!

I'm not sure if they got caught but I'm sure they did there were cops all over the place. I hope they beat their asses..punck fuckers!

!@#$%&*

One thing I fuckin hate is when I come into work and someone has been fuckin with my shit!
Some one came in here lastnight to try to set up our switch and decided to use my workbench as a testing station although it was clear that I had systems running on the network that I needed. Not only did they take them off line, the did not plug them back into the right ports.

AHHHHHHH!!

Clive Law

I went in to work around 10am today. We had a long night of driving in mad traffic on the way back from Chicago..well Bolingbrook IKEA. Construction all over 80 and it took hours to get through it.

So I was sitting there at my desk trying to figure out why one of the systems I was working on was not accepting a push from the SDO server and then it hit me!

A MIGRAINE

Yeah sucks ass because I knew it was going to be a long day with no medicine anywhere around. It was weird though I had a headache like usual but when I was standing it felt like the floor was moving up and down. I felt this before but only a few weeks ago and thought nothing about it.

Jen called the cell just after I felt this and asked if there was any way I could pick her up because she forgot she had a meeting downtown a few blocks from where I was at.

Picked her up and took the rest of the day off. I don’t want this to last all night so I need to relax the rest of the day. Funny thing is that where she is having her meeting is the same building where Wellpoints’ Corp office is at!

Oh well no one knows me here. My boss is at my location and my real boss is in Boston or something like that.

So here I am outside (I put my badge one anyways so I don’t look like some random guy sitting here) typing away about nothing. I feel kinda bad for leaving work early buy what the hell. I needed to.

It’s funny how no one out here will talk to each other. I have a guy pacing all around smoking and a girl standing right in front of me staring at her shoes trying to act like she’s busy..I know she’s not.

I can tell the Starbucks people here though..most of them have tan pants on of some sort and a black top. Talking all business like and about how important they are. I dunno I guess I’m a little different because when I’m outside chillin out the last thing I want to do is talk to someone I already work with is work. Blah!

I know I do this too but I have noticed out here when people are out here by themselves smoking it looks like they are on a mission and not enjoying it. Why do we so this..like it’s a task we have to do and we don’t like it.

I’m going to be here for an hour and a half sitting here doing nothing but, it’s better than trying to do brain work for the next few hours. Something I can’t handle right now.

I want to go lay down but I can’t, there’s no where to do that at. Grr this is starting to suck and I have about an hour to go. I can’t pick up a wireless connection anywhere out here. Well I know if I walked down the block a little I could but that would look alittle funny. Sitting in front of a building with a laptop. Sure to draw un-needed attention to myself could get robbed and then I would be really pissed.

Maybe I could go upstairs to the corp office and just sit around somewhere..I have my badge and there is no questioning it. Better not.

I went to a school the other day to see about training for my MCSA but they want 24k to do it! Ahhh what the hell. It’s all because (they say) they are an official Microsoft Academy and that’s all they focus on. They almost guarantee that in 6 months I would have my MCSA and MCSE.

I don’t know for some reason I’m thinking I could just go to a small community college and pay a lot less and get the same if not better training.

Upadate = Forgiven

The Update

When I had got home that night Jen was not there yet. I had a lot of time to cool off about it all but was still of course a little mad that anything like this had happened in the first place.

She had left me a note saying how sorry she was and how she should have never let her curiosity get the best of her.

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m awful, how’s that? Pathetic? Any better?

I feel like I could throw up right now, knowing that I have just fucked up the most important thing, and best thing in my life.”

It went on with more of the same

“I love you so much that I really scare myself. To be able to put myself out there is the scariest thing. I am so afraid of getting hurt, rejected, anything.”

“I know that I have done a terable thing and there are no excuses for it. I have completely fucked any trust that you have built for me and, I know how huge that is to you!”

This is the part of the letter that made me laugh a little and made me be a little more understanding about this.

“I love you so much I want to grow old with you, have your babies, have countless vacations, memories. I want to expierence the rest of my life with you. I want the house the dogs, the yard, grandchildren, sleepless nights, Christmas, birthdays…”

The list seemed to never end………

“trips to mexico, Italy, Japan, mowing yards, all the head aches, disappointments, tears, smiles, showers, first teeth, runny noses, camping, wine tastings, tango, salsa, foxtrot, finishing thought, words, changing diapers, arthritis, mistakes, learning…….

I started to laugh more and more and by the end of the letter I was no longer as mad as I thought I was.

When she got home I was outside on the deck laptop in hand writing about how mad I was earlier in the day and now how it was really nothing.

She came out and sat down in front of me. I had no idea what to say to her. If I were real mad still about it all I could ramble off a shit load of things. I was pretty calm though but I could not give in like that I thought.

I let her know that if this had been anyone else past or present I would no longer talk to them. I could cut them off like nothing I needed. Trust to me is #1 and you have to earn that from me and continue to show that you are able to handle it.

She started crying and again apologized and said how sorry she was. I gave my warning ..one that I have given everyone that I have dated before. Do not do anything like this again because I will give no warning and leave you. I know it was harsh but no one has really gone into my journals and things like that before, they had done smaller things to make me mistrust them so, for me to forgive her and let it go…I was making a real change in myself.

I know that in my past if anyone had done this to me I would have gone in an instant. I love Jen and I can honestly say that now because I’m staying and I want to. I don’t want to leave her over this..it was a mistake, we all make mistakes. We just have to learn from them.

Clive Law.

Are you going to be home tonight? Pt. # 2

more at 11 ;)

Are you going to be home tonight?

I'm pretty pissed today.
Lastnight Jen did not come to bed with me so I left the laptop out so she could use it and not bother me in the other room while I was sleeping.



This morning my security log popped up with access attempts on my docs and ones in my personal file that I have encrypted. I checked the user and it was Jen. She was looking at my mail archives that I had not yet encrypted.

On top of all that I looked into the web history only because of this and found that there was some William guy who's blog she has been reading. I don't know who this person is and why she's was trying really hard to find contact info on him. So yes automatically I got pissed because of the pre-reqs that had just been found.

I called her and kinda layed it all down. She has NEVER done anything to make me not trust her but this was it. I have issues with trust already and I have told her all about them and what not to do issue #1 stay out of my personal files.

I think this had chanhed my perception on this relationship...it always does and this is why things just don't work out for me.

She asked if I was going to be home when she got there tonight.

Still get a smile

6/4/2006

Well it was supposed to be a good relaxing day but I had to fuck it all up. Jen and I got up and around by 11am today. Thought we would go have some Starbucks then go mim-golfing. I showed Jen the art of War Driving and how many access points there were just from our house to the end of the block. She was pretty shocked to see how many of them were not secured.

I found a place in Fishers were would could go mini-golfing and we headed out. On our way there, there was a lot of congestion from some construction going on. I like an idiot was not paying attention to the cars in front of me.

BAM! The new Passat has been injured. I immediately felt like shit and about cried because I know she had just been in a car accident and has been warning me about my driving to close to people and way too fast.

I’m at home now but I still feel like shit about it all. I’m not sure if she’s actually not that pissed about it or if she’s just being nice to me about it until later on. I know it’s not going to cost too much to fix it all but still it’s going to cost at least the deducible.

After it was all said and done she asked if I still wanted to play some mini-golf. I was not really in the mood but she pretty much insisted that this accident should not ruin our day together.

I’m glad we did because it made me feel more at ease with this whole thing for just a few moments.

We did have a lot of fun there. We actually did not do as bad as I thought the both of us would. At the end of the day and after she had 4 beers I still get a smile from her.

Yeah I'm bored

The Living Room (in progress)

Too Early for pics

I had the bright idea of takin a pic of us right when we woke up.

Indy Pics

Finally a pic of Jen!

Pics from our Wine Tour

We love the Vino!

Xmen

Sat night Jen and I went out to see X-Men III. I'm always unsure of seeing movies at the theater..I don't like to spend 25$ + going to a hyped up movie and being disappointed in the end. Makes me feel like I wasted so much money.

I'm not a film critic but I liked, Why?
I just do.

Clive Law

IT Kick Out! Part #1

My boss is pissed today....

This is an odd occurance because he's not really the type of person who you would think that would go off like he did . You see he's kind of like Milton...he acts almost the same way and talks almost like him but in a Romanian accent.


So randomly some guys came into out office talking and looking around like we weren't even there. I swear I bumped into one and it was like he was playing the ignore game like back when I was a kid. "Oh, was that a bug?"

Fred was pissed because those guys were in here talking about how they were going to be taking this room over. We kinda knew this was going to happen but not anytime soon. We have this place filled to the gills with equiptment. We just set it all up so we are more productive. It took us a month to figure out all the wiring to get all the ports open and running along with other things. Now we have to leave.

See we have to be in a secure room because of all the laptops , PC's and Server. Where they would like to move us is to 3 cubes with no doors? Yeah well we will see how that one goes. We can't even get paper for out printer without someone having a fit about money.

Back to Fred / Milton....he was on their asses about it. He was tellin them that were not moving blah blah blah...I have never heard him cuss before but he was droppin Fuck like no tomarrow.

Tune in Tuesday for the conclusion of :

IT Kick Out!! Starring Milton.

Carb Day??

IT'S FRIDAY!!

Dave picked me up this morning and said that he hit hardly any traffic. As were were driving our usual route to work I mentined that everyone that works downtown must have taken the day off but us because there was no one to compete with for lanes. The strangeness continued on as we pulled into the parking garage we noticed the same thing. I think everyone had the same idea in the city ....stay home.

While we were in the elevator I struck up a conversation with a random lady. She informed us that today was "Carb Day".

Carb Day, what the hell is Carb Day?
I instantly thought that it was some local health day. May be there was a huge race some where like I always see around the city.

She went on to tell us that every year there is a HUGE all day festival at the track where all theIndy cars race. I turned on the radio and googled it...wow it's really a huge event and it looks like everyone knows about it but Dave and I.

Wow there are bands from all over coming and people from all over come to this thing as well. A full day from 8 am till ?. Filled with half naked women and men..alll drunk LOL.

So I guess something from Indiana this is what I'm missing:

Eazy

This is for all mah homies out there that need it:

Chuck Norris in the Morning

Ok so I totally do not remember posting anything lastnight on here. Kinda funny when I look at it.



So for some reason here at work in the good ol IT department we all got on Chuck Norris Jokes, here are a few we came accross:


Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist

I don't know why I thought these were so funny but they were this morning.

- Clive Law

Druuuuuuuunk

Tonight Jen and I went out to another wine tasting tonight. So while I'm writing this I'm pretty drunk off the wine..I'll let you know now that I did not see anyone there spit :)

It was a fun time we met alot of people there and yeah ok..I'm going to write more about this in the morn when I have more of a brain left.


Clive Law

The Fight

Last night Jen and I got into a fight. It all started because I noticed that she was acting a little weird. Naturally I asked what was going on. She started to tell me about how she’s starting to feel out of place around here. The girls that she manages at work all act like they are so carefree and that they have nothing to loose. They all go out and party all the time and come back with stories of it all on Monday. When she asked how old they were she found that they were all older than her, ages 27 – 32.

“I’m afraid of getting older”, she said to me. I talked to her about how some of these girls are not in the same place as she is right now. They don’t have ambition or drive to do anything more that what they are doing at this moment. She agreed and we talked more about this. I could still tell something was wrong but she was not giving it up.

Finally she said that she does not know why I’m with her. She doesn’t know why I love her.
“Sometimes I need to know why Jay.”

It’s funny she said that because I had just bought her flowers and a card that said it all. This hurt me, that she would not believe that I love her. I asked her again……”Do you believe I love you?”

She had nothing to say.

I kinda lost it, how could she honestly think that I was just keeping her around for the hell of it? I explained to her that I have given up a lot to show her that I love her. I got rid of my safety net of Mandarins’ memories. I used to keep pics of her all the time so that I would know what it was like to be hurt and to never let myself get to that place again. I explained to her how hard it was to give up my personal pledge to never trust another again. I explained to her how hard it was for me to admit I was in love with her or anyone after Mandarin.

“You seem to have forgotten all the shit I have been through and, how hard it was for me to give my heart to you.”

She put her face down into her hands and started crying.
She forgot.

I took a little break from the moment to calm myself down. Went outside to have a cig. She still had her face covered. I went to her and apologized for yelling at her.
“You didn’t yell at me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so fucking afraid of you!”

She explained that she was very much in love with me and that she could see herself being married to me. I didn’t want this to go on anymore so, I told her all is forgiven but just to not question my love for her. If there is something wrong with her and I, I would say something about it.

She told me before that when she has time to be alone that she thinks way too much about negative things. Situations like this, thinking about why I’m with her then coming up with negative sceneros to play in her mind ultimately upsetting herself.

- Clive Law

Mandarin

I have no idea why but Mandarin popped in my head today. I was not really thinking about anything and poof there she is.

She has been gone now for over 3 years and still this haunts me from time to time.

I found her mothers E-Mail addy online. At first I had no idea what to say to her. She was always a little funny with me for some reason.

I think in a way I was blamed for everything and I guess in many ways I was. I was not the person I should have been to her. She was younger than me and I was ready to make her my wife. She was not ready for anything like that. Now I can understand it but at the time it was just like a knife right in my chest. I don't want to go through this anymore, I thought I was done with you and your memories. Your ghosts still haunts me. Please leave me alone Mandarin. I don't want to cry over you ever again.

Clive Law

My Couch!

Jen and I finally got a couch yesterday. See we went to Chicago to the IKEA because we seen a couch that we really wanted.

Exhibit A:


So this is a very nice couch and it fits our style not to mention it was only $200.00.

"How much does this cost to ship to our house in Indianapolis?"

"That will be $300.00 to ship"
Ahhh no way were going to pay $300 to have it shipped when it's only worth $200 to begin with. So, we delayed getting the couch untill we could figure out some way of getting it home cheaper. The other day Jen stopped by the Scandinavian Furniture store and looked at a few things. We had been there before and saw a lot we liked but it was just too expensive for us at the time. As soon as I got home we set out to look for a couch.

So back to the Scand Store we go....Immediatly I liked this one couch but they wanted 800 for it. Wait, it's on sale for 700...hmm lemme see what I can do. I talked to the owner of the place and got him to drop it by another $100. Now all we needed to do was pay tax and shipping. This is the couch we bought but we ordered it in a cream color. Oh, yeah they have a warehouse a few blocks away so we don't have to wait for the new one. Ahh so yeah back to the pic........
Enter Exhibit B:

INTRODUCING MY NEW LOVE:
............................................................


I'll give more details later :)

Clive Law

Toyz

Today out Super gave us some new toys to use and I love it!!

I need, yes need one of these for my home use. He suggested we use it for the "Centerfolds" LOL!

Today is pretty good. I got a lot done in a short amount of time and now it's Chilaxin time!!

The Rise of the Creative Class

I actualy did some work today and got some time in as well to read. I found this book at a little shop in the discount bin for 1$ but it's well worth more:

I love this book so far because it speaks about me and how I work best. I highly reccomend it to anyone that works with and or around technology. This really hits the spot!

Dayz go By

So another day another few dollars.

I hate that I usually only write about things that piss me off or annoy me but here it goes.
So Dave is on this "move" team here. Moving cubes around to different locations...cool. Well once again he's trying to make it sound more than it is and for some reason had to tell me he had a conf call 4 times this morning.



What ever makes you feel important I guess? I just came in from checking to see if we got anymore PC's in. We were told there were about 60 more. Turns out they are all laptops and they aren't even for us. So I came back in to let Dave know that there was no rush because we hardly had any in. He looked up at me from his chair and gave me the little hand sign for "Cut-it". I don't know why but this about pissed me off?

I guess this conf call about moving cubes upstairs is pretty interesting LOL



Ahh well another day another few dollars

Clive Law

Ramble On

I've been lookin on line for some of my old Hacker buddies and I found only one. B-$tring...I'm not sure how he's really doing but from some of his blogs I found not too well.

God, I'm bored today...but got xp on my laptop and downloaded all the cool proggies that I wanted. On the way home think I'll fire up net stumbler and see who's out there unsecured.

Jen won't be home till late tonight and I know Jen#2 (roommate) will be there. She get's on my nerves so friggn bad. Is it bad that I just want to tell her to shut up or smack her one? She competes for my Jen's attention with me like we were siblings fighting over mother. I realise that she does not have a mom or really a dad but shit your 24 grow th e hell up and leave me out of it!

Clive Law

It was a great weekend. Jen and I went out to the store and picked out a few bottles of wine for out own inhouse tasting. We both picked one we thought we would like, then we picked out one together.


Went home with out booze an popped in disk one of season 2 Nip/Tuck. We also bought some Pita bread and Basil/Tomato Hummus. I cut the pita bread into small triangles, butter, salt, and basil on top. Baked on 350 for about 10 mins. Damn good stuff just like in those fancy wine bars LOL.

I'll list the wines we tried that night on here for you all to see and try yourself.


Sunday Jen and I went to Easley Winery for the grand tour of the place. Really there was not much to see it's a small operation but I did learn some things about wine I had no idea about. We sampled a few of what they had to offer but honestly there was nothing that really stuck out.

Ahh but then there was the Honey wine. It was very very sweet really too sweet for me. I guess that sticks out in my head because I didn't like it at all. So after our free wine tasting at Easleys we marched on over to Dino's Vino but, Dino was closed. I remembered that there was a place in BroadRipple that had a pretty nice wine bar.

We were not even sure if they were open. I could see no customers and there was hardly anyone around as far as staff goes. I know I was underdressed from the look I got while walking in by the waiter. I think it was the hat.

We ordered a few flights to check out I had the "Travelers Flight" and Jen had the "Zin Flight".


Clive Law

Jen bought Nip/Tuck season 2 lastnight, got an awsome deal on it from Target I think.


Syn sent me an e-mail with his new joy in his life..the extended desktop
.

Makes me happy in a geeky way that he's advancing and taking some suggestions that I had made to him a long time ago :)


My little geek is growing up!!

- Clive Law

H@ppy C400 Day!

So I'm getting a new laptop today YAAY!! Ok, so it's not entirely new but it's still better than what I have goin on now.

I have an older Compaq that has been living way beyond it's means. The poor things has an external monitor, keyboard, mouse, cd-rom drive, NIC and a frayed power cord. It's screaming to die, it's the equivalent to an old lady who has broken her hip, leg, knee surgury, brain tumor and blind. She just needs to be let go. My modern medicine has kept this thing alive for too long.

So here is it's replacement:

No, it's not the fastest or the best but for $300.00 it is. Going from a 500 Mhz to 1.2 Gig is great. I only had a 5 gig HD in the Compaq this is 20. No wireless have ever touched the Compaq, this is built-in. 128 RAM old, 512 new.


So yeah I'm pretty happy with it even though I have not played with it yet. The situation was kinda funny. I saw the ad on Craigslist and thought WTF let's see if he still has it. I wrote an email that said only "Do you still have the laptop?" He replied yes and that he lived about 45 mins from downtown. Later on during the day he wrote back from another e-mail address:

"I just looked at your email address and noticed you work here hehe :) You emailed me about my laptop on sale on Craigslist. I actually have the laptop here if you want to come look at it. "

Ryan O

He worked a few floors above me. I thought it was pretty funny and it has to be a sign to buy the laptop. I had been lookin for sometime now and have not been too impressed with anything. I wanted something smaller and lightweight and I found it.


Happy C400 D@y!

Clive Law

@work

Another day of nothing but I'm pretty tired today so it's not sweat off my back.



My co-worker (someone I brought on this project with me) is about getting on my nerves. We will call him 1up. You have all heard of the "one upper". Everytime someone talks about something, he's been there done that and more or knows someone that has.

I really don't know how long I will end up keeping him on this project with me. He does not really know that I do have a little power all of that. I don't want to tell him because unlike him I try not to be the "One Upper".

Just today he was telling me that his mom was some super brain woman and he also knew someone that was once on the Mensa Board at like age 19 and was accepted to Harvard with just a G.E.D.

Wow, I'M IMPRESSED!! NO!


Now he's trying to be impressive with his well thought out words that have no flow and are clearly said just to make him seem like a smart guy.


Little does he realize that they bosses talk to me about this and it's in one ear with them and out the other.

For the past few days, well make that weeks on this project we have had a lot of down time. I thought I would like this and yeah there are times I do but now it's starting to get boring. Ahhh well I guess I could have some shitty job workin my ass off for nothing.


Jen and I have been talking more about getting married. We get along great and I do love her so I have been looking at ideas for rings.

Here's a few I was kinda thinkin of:

Trauma

It's been some time now that I have been able to have enough time to get on and write about anything.

Finally got a new job after about 2.5 months of sitting on mah ass and going to interviews all over the city.





Yesterday Jen and I were driving back home from doing a little needless shopping when I saw a car in the middle of the road with the entire front end crunched in. I saw a lady on the the cell phone so I pulled over to see if she was alright. She said she was but she did not know what happened. I looked around and saw that there was no other cars around that looked like they were involved. There were no poles that were damaged or anything like that either.

She said she was ok but that her cousin was in the car and was hurt. I looked in and there she was laying on the seat, her head was cut open and bleeding pretty bad. I looked up and saw that she had smashed her head on the windshield. There was a clear indention in the glass from it. I asked her to stay still and that we would have someone out as soon as they could get here. Jen was calling the police while all of this was going on.

The lady said that she was driving and that a car had hit her head on but she does not know where it went. I asked for a description of the car so I could look around the neighborhood and find it. I looked down the road and saw a white truck pulled over on the wrong side of the road with a man exiting it. The funny thing was that his car was pointed in the same direction as she was but they were going opposite ways when the accident occured. I went over to him accross four lanes of traffic. He was holding his head and could barely speak. He said that he was travelling the other direction but she hit him and spun him around. His car was about a 1/2 mile from the actual site though.

I assured him as well that we were getting someone out there to take care of him and everyone else and to just go back and sit in his car. I felt so bad for him too because he was totally out of it.

i went back to check on the lady and her cousin. Jen had offered a seat in our car to get out of the rain. Just then the para and police showed up.

I just sat there for a min not sure what to do. A few others had stopped as well to make sure everyone was ok. One lady just got out of church and saw everything going on and stopped. She came up to Jen and I and gave us a hug each for stopping.

I have always worn a seatbelt but seeing this trauma makes me a true beliver.

Clive Law

Something

Back from our weekend!
I did not really want to come back so early actually we didn't. Jen and I decided to stay till Monday on Sunday night. I had gone there for Syns' network issues..slow throughput with no sec at all on his wireless setup at all. As a matter of fact at about 8 am I check the connections and he actually had someone in the neighborhood piggy backing on his sys. I set up WEP and filtered the MAC's and hid the SSID...secure as he's gonna get for what he's got but way better than before.

Syns throughput issue were solved simply by clearing cache on all PC's and resetting the routers. What no firewalls! Yeah he was concerned about sec but had nothing setup. He was worried about "hackers" and things of that nature so I set him up with the standard Zone Alarm and configed that with subnet addresses for local access only..once again best I could do for what he had but better than before. Also made sure he had updated Norton for all PC's.

He's starting to become like all other users out there, wants not to be bothered with a growing network sec issues but wants to be secure. We had a nice long talk about that.

Whenever I go back I'm going to setup a file server for him, they are pulling files from each others PC's cloggin it bad that way and it's bad enough that Syn has 5 Ext HD's sitting on his desk!

Friday before we left I had went to an interview. I went in not really wanting the job but by the time I was ready to leave after the tour, I really felt I had to work there. They had a library setup for the employees to study for your certs and paid for all of it!

Ahh that would be great but nothing good like that happens to me :(

.....................

THIS PLACE SUX

Due to some scheduling issues I have a new Supervisor! Ahhh NO!! I dont want that shit!!

Jen and I are going to Ohio this Friday. I couldnot decide where I wanted to go , Columbus to see Eric and Katie or Akron for Syn and Dani. It's been a bit since I have seen either of them but in the end I chose to go back to the Cleveland area. Feels more like home there and I have better memories in thta area.

I stopped by Starbucks yesterday after work (had Jeff drop me off there) to see Jen . She was about to go on her lunch which was coolo. I was in a bad mood could hardly focus on work ..about to cry all day. I n eeed to find aplce to live and pretty soon.

beavis?

It snowed this morning, well lastnight but there is hardly any one the roads to make a fuss about but for some reason people are having crashes all over the palce. One death so far and multiple injuries all over the place. Come on you Hoosiers what the heck, really you all act like you have never seen snow before!


The guy sitting next to me just advisewd me with glee that there are now Bevis and Butthead playing cards out online!! me: "Not cool man, not cool at all"
Clive Law

BORED IN THE MORN

Seems like this place is going to hell. New hires usually go through a training peroiod that lasts about 2 weeks and in itself is not enough time for the type of people they hire, now apparently the trainers just got word that Verizon wants more people out on the floor ..NOW!! So this means we will have untrained people taking calls not knowing their ass from who knows! Whats this mean for the rest of us? Cleaning up their mess!! I guess this can be seen as a good thing because all these people are going to suck so bad it's going to make me look like a guru of adsl.

I dont know whats goin on tiday I think Verizon is pissed at us. I have taken a total of 3 calls for the day so far not cool..Im getting bored..I do bad things when Im bored .

You know it's going to be a long day when someone asks me what the "period" is on their keyboard.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC,K STUPID FUCKIN USERS I HATE THEM ALL ...ALLLLLL!!! PIECES OF SHIT DIE NOW!!
45 fuckin mins for a fuckin retarded fuck to do a simple modem config!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm surprized there is not a huge rate for violence in the workplace for tech support because im about to kill

7am

Gotta love comin in to work way too early...........

7AM and I have to be here till at leat 8pm tonight. Trying to get my promotion but I have way too many points to get it now so for the next 5 days I will be here for 13 hours !

I was at Starbucks Jen yester day when I overheard a lady say she was an IT recruiter and had some connections from past jobs. I totally involved myself in her conversation with one of the employees there and asked what her name and contact info was. I gave her the condensed resume from my brain. She had no card but wrote all in her info on a piece of paper from a bag she had.

Yesterday I freaked out a little. I was moving my things into Jen's house and all of the sudden got a little sad? I should be happy right? I mean I'm moving in with my gf and things should be better for me. Jen asked what was wrong with me , "I don't know" is all I could say to her because well, I had no real idea why Iwas sad. I got over it with dome time alone in our room but still I can't figure out what the heck my problem was.

Clive Law

VERIZONS SPECIAL KIDS

OM MY FUCKIN GOD!! So I decided to be nice and come in to help out a little tonight at work. I needed the money and I was bored anyways, well thIS was the night from fuckin hell!!

I swear EVERY person I talked to tonight had no idea of what they were doing at all...now I remember why I don't work weekends!
AHHHHH!! NEVER AGAIN!!

Rental Communication

Jeff somehow forgot to pay the rent for the past two months so once again I find myself looking for a place to stay. Ususally this would not be a problem because I could just move to Chicago but I have Jen now in my life and I can't leave her like that.

I got the call about 2pm Jen and I had just pulled into the half price book store. I have been searching for cheap books for my N+ test. I'm about ready to take it but the books I have been using are a little old and I'm pretty sure that the old coax cable days are gone.

Jeff started out by saying he had bad news. What the hell could this be about? Did Verizon somehow contact him about my server error the other night and want to fire me? Yeah a bit irrational but that's how my brain works sometimes. "Yeah so I just talked to the leasing office and they said if I don't come up with about $1,400.00 we have to move out by the 16th or eviction will be processed." Ahh WTF Jeff!!

I had been staying with Jen for the past two weeks really for no reason other than we are in a new relationship and that's how things go, plus it was nice to have someone to hold on these cold nights (whatta sob I can be sometimes).

So back to Jeff and my situation. Things were goin great besides the fact that I just found out that I was going to be homeless. I was shocked and had the life drained out of me. I had taken the day off from work so Jen and I could hang out plus I had some issues I didn't want to deal with at work that day. Now after hearing that news I was instantly in a bad mood. I could not talk I didn't even want to look for books anymore and this is usually something I'm excited about.

Jen noticed I was being quiet but she didn't bother to ask what was wrong. She's cool like that , there are just some times when I don't need to talk just sit like a derpressed Buddhist Monk. Jen had to go to Walmart for some prescription she had to get. While we were there waiting for it to be filled we walked around looking at things we don't want and need. We came accross the bath mats and I got sad. Guess a little explanation is due about that last comment.

I'm a little OCD and I have a fear of standing in showers that are used, So yea everywhere I go I have to have something down or I freak out ...BAD.

So Jen was suggesting we get one for her apartment because I'm over there alot and usually use one of her towels for my little crazy thing. Honestly I get excited over stupid things like a new bath mat but this time I couldn't. I was sad and I could not say anything. All I could think about was the fact that I would have to move away from her in order to live. I did not want to ask Jen if I could live with her because well it's just not right.

So I don't exactly remember how this all happened or what she said but I was just at that breaking point of the day and that was all it took. I got pissed and went out to the car untill she was done with her shopping. Later on that night we talked more about what was going on and why I was feeling so moody.

I mentioned to Jen that I might have to move if I could not work something out so Jeff and I could live in out apartment. I knew it was a lost cause we were in the hole and bad. After some crying and things of that nature she asked me to live with her and her roommate. She would have to talk to Jen(yes her roommate is Jen as well ) about it first then get back to me the next day. I was not really counting on anything.

This is why I did not want to get into a relationship, if something like this were to happen I could just pickup and move and not miss a thing. When I was telling Jen that I would have to go I started to harden inside no tears I was ready to leave her if I had to for my survival. Then she had a look on her face like she was about to just break down. She wouldn't say anything to me. I almost had to shake her just for a few words.

"Oh my God, I knew it was too good to be true. It's just like my whole world is about to come apart right now and I'm really trying not to have a mental breakdown right now."

The way she looked when she said that I knew I couldn't leave her. She really cared about me I could see it. Then she said it....what had been on her mind and why she could n't really talk.

"I love you"

How could I leave someone in love with me. I know the feelings that she has because I have them too, I can't leave.

The next day I was at work feeling like shit because I didn't know how the conversation was going to go with Jen#2 about me moving in. I had been there for two weeks and thought I might of outstayed myself a bit.

I text'd Jen on her phone:

How are you doing today?
"I'm doing better than great! jen said yes!!! I was going to wait to tell you but I just couldn't !"

My heart about popped out of my chest, here I was going to be living with Jen. I have not lived with anyone in so long it's scarey. I have just gotten used to being alone and loving it. How is all of this going to work out? Will we get along? Am I going to be able to be myself?

I was happy really happy and wanted to jump out of my chair at work but at the same time I wanted to run like hell!
When Jen picked me up I was not sure how to act. I was going through so much in my head I was not sure where to start. Why not discuss it over dinner, make it into a celebration to take some of the edge off...right?

I wanted Chinese she wanted something else but gave in at the last min. :) <------big grin here
I love those Chinese Places so much food so much to choose from although I never stray from what I know and usually eat. I just like being surrounded by so many choices.

Went back to her apartment and then we talked more about these crazy feelings I was having. She had noticed that I was not real excited acting...I was excited but scared too. It was really funny but she was feeling a little scared to but it was more about me and my happiness living with her that she was more concerned about. Jen knows that I am a person who loves and values his alone time. I love and I get so many mental obsticles out of the way. She assured me that she would never stop me from doing anything (within reason) and give me all the space I needed.

We both agreed that no matter what we would always keep the communication going.


Clive Law