Something

Back from our weekend!
I did not really want to come back so early actually we didn't. Jen and I decided to stay till Monday on Sunday night. I had gone there for Syns' network issues..slow throughput with no sec at all on his wireless setup at all. As a matter of fact at about 8 am I check the connections and he actually had someone in the neighborhood piggy backing on his sys. I set up WEP and filtered the MAC's and hid the SSID...secure as he's gonna get for what he's got but way better than before.

Syns throughput issue were solved simply by clearing cache on all PC's and resetting the routers. What no firewalls! Yeah he was concerned about sec but had nothing setup. He was worried about "hackers" and things of that nature so I set him up with the standard Zone Alarm and configed that with subnet addresses for local access only..once again best I could do for what he had but better than before. Also made sure he had updated Norton for all PC's.

He's starting to become like all other users out there, wants not to be bothered with a growing network sec issues but wants to be secure. We had a nice long talk about that.

Whenever I go back I'm going to setup a file server for him, they are pulling files from each others PC's cloggin it bad that way and it's bad enough that Syn has 5 Ext HD's sitting on his desk!

Friday before we left I had went to an interview. I went in not really wanting the job but by the time I was ready to leave after the tour, I really felt I had to work there. They had a library setup for the employees to study for your certs and paid for all of it!

Ahh that would be great but nothing good like that happens to me :(

.....................

THIS PLACE SUX

Due to some scheduling issues I have a new Supervisor! Ahhh NO!! I dont want that shit!!

Jen and I are going to Ohio this Friday. I couldnot decide where I wanted to go , Columbus to see Eric and Katie or Akron for Syn and Dani. It's been a bit since I have seen either of them but in the end I chose to go back to the Cleveland area. Feels more like home there and I have better memories in thta area.

I stopped by Starbucks yesterday after work (had Jeff drop me off there) to see Jen . She was about to go on her lunch which was coolo. I was in a bad mood could hardly focus on work ..about to cry all day. I n eeed to find aplce to live and pretty soon.

beavis?

It snowed this morning, well lastnight but there is hardly any one the roads to make a fuss about but for some reason people are having crashes all over the palce. One death so far and multiple injuries all over the place. Come on you Hoosiers what the heck, really you all act like you have never seen snow before!


The guy sitting next to me just advisewd me with glee that there are now Bevis and Butthead playing cards out online!! me: "Not cool man, not cool at all"
Clive Law

BORED IN THE MORN

Seems like this place is going to hell. New hires usually go through a training peroiod that lasts about 2 weeks and in itself is not enough time for the type of people they hire, now apparently the trainers just got word that Verizon wants more people out on the floor ..NOW!! So this means we will have untrained people taking calls not knowing their ass from who knows! Whats this mean for the rest of us? Cleaning up their mess!! I guess this can be seen as a good thing because all these people are going to suck so bad it's going to make me look like a guru of adsl.

I dont know whats goin on tiday I think Verizon is pissed at us. I have taken a total of 3 calls for the day so far not cool..Im getting bored..I do bad things when Im bored .

You know it's going to be a long day when someone asks me what the "period" is on their keyboard.

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC,K STUPID FUCKIN USERS I HATE THEM ALL ...ALLLLLL!!! PIECES OF SHIT DIE NOW!!
45 fuckin mins for a fuckin retarded fuck to do a simple modem config!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm surprized there is not a huge rate for violence in the workplace for tech support because im about to kill

7am

Gotta love comin in to work way too early...........

7AM and I have to be here till at leat 8pm tonight. Trying to get my promotion but I have way too many points to get it now so for the next 5 days I will be here for 13 hours !

I was at Starbucks Jen yester day when I overheard a lady say she was an IT recruiter and had some connections from past jobs. I totally involved myself in her conversation with one of the employees there and asked what her name and contact info was. I gave her the condensed resume from my brain. She had no card but wrote all in her info on a piece of paper from a bag she had.

Yesterday I freaked out a little. I was moving my things into Jen's house and all of the sudden got a little sad? I should be happy right? I mean I'm moving in with my gf and things should be better for me. Jen asked what was wrong with me , "I don't know" is all I could say to her because well, I had no real idea why Iwas sad. I got over it with dome time alone in our room but still I can't figure out what the heck my problem was.

Clive Law

VERIZONS SPECIAL KIDS

OM MY FUCKIN GOD!! So I decided to be nice and come in to help out a little tonight at work. I needed the money and I was bored anyways, well thIS was the night from fuckin hell!!

I swear EVERY person I talked to tonight had no idea of what they were doing at all...now I remember why I don't work weekends!
AHHHHH!! NEVER AGAIN!!

Rental Communication

Jeff somehow forgot to pay the rent for the past two months so once again I find myself looking for a place to stay. Ususally this would not be a problem because I could just move to Chicago but I have Jen now in my life and I can't leave her like that.

I got the call about 2pm Jen and I had just pulled into the half price book store. I have been searching for cheap books for my N+ test. I'm about ready to take it but the books I have been using are a little old and I'm pretty sure that the old coax cable days are gone.

Jeff started out by saying he had bad news. What the hell could this be about? Did Verizon somehow contact him about my server error the other night and want to fire me? Yeah a bit irrational but that's how my brain works sometimes. "Yeah so I just talked to the leasing office and they said if I don't come up with about $1,400.00 we have to move out by the 16th or eviction will be processed." Ahh WTF Jeff!!

I had been staying with Jen for the past two weeks really for no reason other than we are in a new relationship and that's how things go, plus it was nice to have someone to hold on these cold nights (whatta sob I can be sometimes).

So back to Jeff and my situation. Things were goin great besides the fact that I just found out that I was going to be homeless. I was shocked and had the life drained out of me. I had taken the day off from work so Jen and I could hang out plus I had some issues I didn't want to deal with at work that day. Now after hearing that news I was instantly in a bad mood. I could not talk I didn't even want to look for books anymore and this is usually something I'm excited about.

Jen noticed I was being quiet but she didn't bother to ask what was wrong. She's cool like that , there are just some times when I don't need to talk just sit like a derpressed Buddhist Monk. Jen had to go to Walmart for some prescription she had to get. While we were there waiting for it to be filled we walked around looking at things we don't want and need. We came accross the bath mats and I got sad. Guess a little explanation is due about that last comment.

I'm a little OCD and I have a fear of standing in showers that are used, So yea everywhere I go I have to have something down or I freak out ...BAD.

So Jen was suggesting we get one for her apartment because I'm over there alot and usually use one of her towels for my little crazy thing. Honestly I get excited over stupid things like a new bath mat but this time I couldn't. I was sad and I could not say anything. All I could think about was the fact that I would have to move away from her in order to live. I did not want to ask Jen if I could live with her because well it's just not right.

So I don't exactly remember how this all happened or what she said but I was just at that breaking point of the day and that was all it took. I got pissed and went out to the car untill she was done with her shopping. Later on that night we talked more about what was going on and why I was feeling so moody.

I mentioned to Jen that I might have to move if I could not work something out so Jeff and I could live in out apartment. I knew it was a lost cause we were in the hole and bad. After some crying and things of that nature she asked me to live with her and her roommate. She would have to talk to Jen(yes her roommate is Jen as well ) about it first then get back to me the next day. I was not really counting on anything.

This is why I did not want to get into a relationship, if something like this were to happen I could just pickup and move and not miss a thing. When I was telling Jen that I would have to go I started to harden inside no tears I was ready to leave her if I had to for my survival. Then she had a look on her face like she was about to just break down. She wouldn't say anything to me. I almost had to shake her just for a few words.

"Oh my God, I knew it was too good to be true. It's just like my whole world is about to come apart right now and I'm really trying not to have a mental breakdown right now."

The way she looked when she said that I knew I couldn't leave her. She really cared about me I could see it. Then she said it....what had been on her mind and why she could n't really talk.

"I love you"

How could I leave someone in love with me. I know the feelings that she has because I have them too, I can't leave.

The next day I was at work feeling like shit because I didn't know how the conversation was going to go with Jen#2 about me moving in. I had been there for two weeks and thought I might of outstayed myself a bit.

I text'd Jen on her phone:

How are you doing today?
"I'm doing better than great! jen said yes!!! I was going to wait to tell you but I just couldn't !"

My heart about popped out of my chest, here I was going to be living with Jen. I have not lived with anyone in so long it's scarey. I have just gotten used to being alone and loving it. How is all of this going to work out? Will we get along? Am I going to be able to be myself?

I was happy really happy and wanted to jump out of my chair at work but at the same time I wanted to run like hell!
When Jen picked me up I was not sure how to act. I was going through so much in my head I was not sure where to start. Why not discuss it over dinner, make it into a celebration to take some of the edge off...right?

I wanted Chinese she wanted something else but gave in at the last min. :) <------big grin here
I love those Chinese Places so much food so much to choose from although I never stray from what I know and usually eat. I just like being surrounded by so many choices.

Went back to her apartment and then we talked more about these crazy feelings I was having. She had noticed that I was not real excited acting...I was excited but scared too. It was really funny but she was feeling a little scared to but it was more about me and my happiness living with her that she was more concerned about. Jen knows that I am a person who loves and values his alone time. I love and I get so many mental obsticles out of the way. She assured me that she would never stop me from doing anything (within reason) and give me all the space I needed.

We both agreed that no matter what we would always keep the communication going.


Clive Law

Conversations

Jen and I had a nice past few nights. She had got 3 days off from work because a few of her friends from back home were comin down, she had been planning this for months. On Friday she had got a voicemail from her one friend sayin that they would not be able to make it due to a flat tire and how much it would cost to fix it.

She was already having a hard time about getting older (25) and making new friends here has been hard for her so, all she wanted was to be with her best friends on her B-Day. I was not really planning on be around all that much I wanted to work all this weekend and then some. I had no idea what to say to her and how to react I knew she was feeling like crap about it all. I don't think I have witnesses her like this before and it was killing me. I had not prepared for her B-day and I only had about $40.00 on me. So, we went out to BW-3s had Chicken wings and beer. I was absolutly tired from not gettting any sleep the night before. I had woke up at 4 am and been up ever since.

As we ate and drank the night away we talked about a lot of things. She told me all about her relationship wth her biological father. She told me all about how he had left I think when she was about 7 years old and never saw her after that although he had only lived about 20 miles away. He mentioned to her mother that the reason why he had decided to stay away was because she always cried when he left her. According to him he did not want to see this so he decided to just stay away. Jen does not understand how he could do this and never try to be a part of her life. The conversation got pretty deep and Jen started to cry...could of been the beer to though.

Yea so we both got down to the nitty gritty of our lives..it was a good conversation for the both of us to have.

Clive Law

xANAx Hangover?

Yeah so the Xanax thing....hmmm well I'm not feeling very cool today here at work. I can't think for the life of me. I have been talking to people and just can't seem to comprehend what they are saying to mt. I think I'm going to have to leave early but I really need the money for my kids. Texted Jen to see if she can come and get me..no response yet :(

Decisions decisions.....
Clive
11:45AM

XANAX

Yummy Yummy and good night to all....hmm I think I'm starting to get addicted to this shit.

When I don't take these I don't have cool dreams.






More @ 11

Clive

What a long friggin day...I'm on the phone with this old guy who can barely be alive! Sometimes it's so hard to stay focused! I should really be listening to this guy and coaching him along but I really dont feel like it right now. Got heree at about 8:30 am started at 9am...long time to sit on your ass if you ask me.

Jen

For the past few nights I have been stayin with Jen. I'm starting to like her a lot, this is scarey. I don't know what the hell I was thinking!! Lastnight she was talking about her best friend and roommate Yet another Jen, wanted to move to AZ. My Jen said that she did not want to go so I like a retard let my dumb mouth open up and tell her that she could live with me. I really would not mind living together but I was afraid that I freaked her out. She said she wasn't at all but she really didn't talk anymore about it.

Talking to Jeff my roommate today about all of this, he said it was a cool idea but not to do anything like that to soon. He was real happy for me that I FINALLY found someone that I could trust and like as much as I do.

Ok well I planned on writing more about all of this but I took a Xanax and an melatonin so I'm getting pretty dizzy.

Ciao For Now,
Clive Law

Wedding Pics

Syn and Dani finally released some pics from the wedding to the public.. Yeah we think were cool!

Goin On Without Me

Got an e-mail lastnight from Syn. They have dreamed of doing this for a long time now. They have been running their business right of out their home for years now...or is it they have been living out of their business? Finally they can move out to another apartment and remodel the loft for just the studio. They rented out the apartment upstairs so they actually have a place they can call home.

I'm so proud of these two ..I can remember when Syn and I were on the front step everyday syn with the guitar and I would sing really crazy songs about kitty litter. Some days people would actually throw change at us while they were driving by..LOL "Yay we made $0.35 today!" Really that's how we met. I worked on the same block. I was walking back from work and I had seen Syn out front playin his guitar for days and I wanted to know what he was doin. I was at the time Mr. Stick up mah ass lookin..I was they guy that always had his shirt tucked in tryin to fit in with the business guys. Syn was my total opposite but after talking for about an hour out there the night progressed on till about 5am. Syn his fiance Danielle and I have hung out ever since. They have helped me in so many ways it's too much to write here. Through them I also met some other close friends.

Everyone loves this couple , there is something real special about them. I had the honor of being one of two best men in their wedding. I never thought that I would be anything like to to anyone. I was not expecting that at all. It was a dream like wedding I was so happy for them.

I do feel bad that I'm not there to help out with this remodeling of the studio..I have always been there for them during any major event for the place but now I can't. I moved ...I should of stayed around. I wonder if it's sick to be in love with a couple like I am?

Clive Law

The Truth

Ok.... what?

There have been alot of changes in the past few months and I have not kept up on any of them.

I'm working dsl tech support for a large phone company..you know, Mufasa?

So yeah it's a lot better than my previous job but not as cool as others thats I've had. I can't complain though it's not like I have to get all dressed up to go to work, I can wear whatever I want to sit back and try to relax as I have people yelling at me because they decided to change some settings on their PC and it messed everything up.

Some customers really want to tear into you during these calls. ... so badly I just want to say " You know Sir/Mam, I do know where you live and I have all the info I need right in front of me to do what I need to do so FUCK OFF!" Ok got that out now I feel better.

Some of the people I talk to on the other hand are commical for instance:
Call: TechWinInstall
This lady could not understand for the life of her why her internet was not working. Immediatly I ask if her modem is plugged in and she had no idea. When she went to check she asked what she should plug the power cord into.

"Well, you plug it into the outlet."
She then replied, "What's that look like it's very dark in here!"

WOW, yeah I said that to her what could I do but laugh? This lady had no lamps plugged in and she could not see anything.

So yeah that's one thing I'm doing these days. I have also found myself working on a soundtrack for a videogame more on that later...gotta go.

Clive Law

Bored

So here I am on Monday bored as fuck in the Local Lib station. I don't have anything to do these days. I got so used to working nights and fuckin off during the days that it's weird to have a few weeks off from all of that. The good thing is that I have access to a lot of books!

There's a girl sitting a few feet away from me that loks exactly like Sherry. It's almost scarey to me. Damn I wonder what it would be like if I had stayed with her. I know that I would be better off finacially but as far as my happiness goes I would be dying about now. She stood in the military as far as I heard and she was off to Iraq.

I don't know if she ever made it back or what happened with all of that. This girl makes the same faces as her even. I can tell she's about 19 just like when I met Sherry.

I don't know what the fuck I'm writing about anymore Im gone!

Clive

WTF?

So yea when I left here the other day I got a call, it was HP! What are they calling about, to just rub in the fact that they are not going to hire me after saying that they would?
It was a woman named Ashley. She said that there were a few people that were not going to work out for the company and if I was still interested that they would love to have me on the team. WTF? I had no idea what to day because I had just applied for another IT job that day and was hired on the spot. Also I have an intership with another Tech company (which reminds me I have to call again about today).

After some time thinking about it I called her back and said that I would take the offer. I start on the 29th. Well what do I do in the meantime? Now I have to go back to Verizon and tell them after all of that shit in one day I can't work for them. This HP thing had better go as planned or I'll have to hang someone from their eyelids!

After droppin Jen (my roommate) off at work I went down the street to the Tech place where I was wanting the internship. There was another guy there. I explained what I was looking for and he was not cool with it. He said that he wanted to pay me something for my time. I don't think he understands that I have a job and all I was and am looking for is expierence in the IT field. No matter he said that him and his partner would be talking more about it today and call me as soon as they have come to an agreement.

It's almost 4p now I hope they call me soon.

Clive Law

HP FUCKS!

Ahhh so I moved here because I was supposed to start working for HP. Well as it turns out someone at the recruiting office I went to for the job fucked up and took way too long submitting my info and they pulled the offer. What the hell am I going to do now. I have to somehow make it to Akron for Syn's wedding and I have absolutly no cash, and I'm the best man!

This really sucks bad, yeah that's all the words I have for it too.

I went to this place that does Tech Support for Verizon Online and got a job but it only pays $9.00 an hour....SHIT! I dunno once again how I'm going to do it but I have no other optionsbut to try again. Another situation that I face now is that I don't have a way out there. If I had a car it's only like 7 miles down the road and hardly a trip to take but I don't and my hours are 3:30p to midnight. If Jen really had to she could pick me up then but how do I get there? I have not seen any bus routes going out there.

God I really hope this was all in you plan for me, really because I can't handle much more than this!

Clive

Indianapolis

So here I am in a new city once again. I have not had access to an interet connection in some time now but I have finally made it to the local library. Pretty cool here they loan out laptops for use in the library. I have soo much to write but don't feel really like doing it all right now. I may come back tonight if I can.

Things are already starting off on the wrong foot here!