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His Spirit Spanned the Nation

Yesterday after I got off work Jen picked me up and we went out to the memorial service for Mpozi.

There were alot of people there but most of them did not seem sad in anyway. I couldn't really grasp it. Usually at these things people are all sad but not here. I only seen a few people crying and one of them was Jen when we were talking to a close friend of his outside.

Liz was her name, she said she had know Mpozi for along time..she was also a photographer that he had took under his wing.

She told us how soft and gentle he was and how she had never seen him mad no matter what happened. She went on to tell us a story when she had been hangin out with him back in his home town of Phily....she told us how he was working so hard to get all the camera equiptment for his projects together, going to pawn stores and whatever he could find. He was just about complete...he let some guy he didn't know stay ay his apartment one niight because he said he didn't have a place to stay..when Mpozi got up in the morning the man he opened up his house to had stolen all of his newly hard earned camera equiptment.

Liz went on to say that Mpozi did something so shocking that she could not even belive it..The only thing Impozi did was say to her, "Man, I wonder what kind of bad stuff he's going through to have to steal?"

I teared up and so did Jen, it just confirmed that he was a man like no one else we have ever met. I saw stories on how he had always kept canned food in his car for the homeless and how he would do anything for anyone.

Liz said he was kinda like.."Noooo, Noooo, Ohhhhh oookay:)"
The mix of people there was amazing..Hippies to Rasta and everything in between.
He had touched so many people from all over the place...there were people there from all over the country.

His spirit spanned the nation

Clive Law

I have some pics from the memorial to post soon.

Public Class Form 1 Dim marryMe = "Will you Marry Me?!"

Public Class Form1
Private Sub Form1_Load(ByVal sender As System.Object, ByVal e As System.EventArgs) Handles MyBase.Load
Dim anInteger As Integer = 42
Dim aSingle As Single = 39.345677653
Dim aString As String = "THIS IS A TEST TO SEE IF THIS CODE WILL POP UP A MESSAGE BOX THAT SAYS REALLY NOTHING!"
Dim aBoolean As Boolean = True
MsgBox(anInteger)
MsgBox(aSingle)
MsgBox(aString)
MsgBox(aBoolean)
End

Yeah that's about how far I've come after a few weeks of this stuff. I'm not really stuck on anything but it's an entirely new world to me. I thought it was going to be boring but so far it hasn't been.

Coders have always brough to mind those weird guys who sit in their mothers basements in the dark after a full days masterbation session coding their little hearts out. Thank GOD I have a gf or I think I would have ended up one of those guys.

Jen went in today at 9am so I took the time away from her to look at more engagement rings. I keep hearing adverts on the radio for Prestons Rocks so I figured I'd give it a shot. I remembered from the advert it was on 96th behind the Arby's. Well there's Arby's and look, behind it was a pretty nice building where Prestons Rocks was housed.

Walking in I saw that for some reason they advertised that they only brewed Starbucks coffee there..I don't know. A man walked up to me and asked if I needed any helo with anything..."Sure". I gave him the load down on what Jen liked and disliked as well as ho wmuch I was looking to spend when this becomes a reality. He was impressed with how much info I came in with. Laptop in hand I had already some ideas that I had ran past Jen and what she had liked out of all them.

We looked only at 3 rings but I knew between two of them it would be it.


'Grrr I can't get the images to upload yet for everyone to see sorry


We found what I was looking for and it won't kill me to buy it. I think in the next month or two I'm going to get it. When I will ask her is another thing. I want to make sure it's the right time and place. I know she doesn't want anything out of a movie but I have to make sure that it's special..one idea I have it to sit down with her and watch a movie that I know she likes..in the middle of it record myself sitting on the couch with the same clothes on and setting, apologizing for imterrupting her video and letting her know how much I love her....then saying something like I have something to give you...(this is all on the vid) fumble around and look for it in my pockets then the video will resume....hopefully she will look at me and ask well what was he looking for? Then I will bring out the ring and ask her to marry me.

Option #2

Jen and I go to alot of Art Galleries in town...I was thinking I could go to one of the places we frequent and have them put up the ring on display with a card and have Jen read it...It will say something sweet about her but never mention her name or mine till the end...then it will ask "Will you Marry me?"

I dunno yet how this is going to go..I know that she does not really want a specticle or anything like the waiter bringing her the ring as desert or anything or bilboards asking her.

Ahh well we will have to see.

Clive Law

MPOZI

Mpozi Talbert

I only met the man once while out on my firt Art/ Wine tour of the city but he made such an impact on me.

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this...it's not like I knew him on a real personal level..one night I met him in his studio where he was doing a live mix for everyone to hear.

Jen and I had not been out together to see the town and see the art that it had to offer. We heard about an city wide "open house" that went on the first Friday of every month. Towards the end of the night we we out to visit all the artists in Fountain Square. A huge warehouse where all kinds of artists lived and worked. Reminded me of what Chelsea would have been back in the day of Andy Warhol.

We didn't know anyone at any of the places but we were open to meeting anyone. The crowd was very diverse....mothers, fathers, kids and every race of person you can think of. We heard of a live music event being hosted by a gallery in the warehouse called the Big Car. The show was not set to begin for about an hour so we had plenty of time to kill. As we were trying to figure out what to do for an hour I hears some reggae music comin fromdown the hall and I liked it. It was kind old school with something new mixed into it. We both went to investigate.

This is when we met Impozi. He made us feel so welcomed just with his smile. He was in the middle of mixing but made room in his room for us to sit and enjoy our wine and listen to his music.

He told us about how he picked out his music and what it meant to him. Jen and I both danced in the hall and in his room. He made our night so much fun. As we were getting ready to leave he handed me a cd with his newest mix on it. On the way home Jen and I listened to it and recapped the night talking mainly about him.

Watching the news the other day I caught the very end of story about a photographer that had died suddenly in his office. I thought it had a picture of Impozi but I was not sure. I ran out of the room and told Jen what I had seen.
"I'm not sure about this but I swear there was a picture of Impozi on the news right now."

We turned the channel to another news cast and there it was.....A story on the man we had met that night.

Jen and I had returned back to see him on other occasions but he had not been around. I wanted to know him better. I did not take the news of his death too hard since we had not been real godo friends or anything but today and yesterday while listening to his cd for some reason I'm having a real hard time with it today. I have been on the verge of tears eversince I got here. I have been reading posting about him all morning and looking at photos he took. Everyone has the same story about him...He left a huge impact on people all over the nation with his photos and personality.

I called Jen just a few minutes ago to seee if she wanted to go to the memorial service with me. She agreed and said we could go after I get off.

I'm so sad today because of his death and I really should not be.

Clive Law

Fathers Day!

So...Fathers Day was a blast!

I have been trying for about a month now to talk to my boys Xavier and Abel but their mother has been refusing to answer the phone and will not return my messages.

Well on Fathers Day I called in the A.M. and found that she had disconnected her phone, this way I really can't get in touch with them. I don't know what she thinks she's doing..hurting me, well yes but more importantly she' s not realizing that it's the kids she hurting. Making them think that I don't call and that I don't want anything to do with them is only going to make them mad at her when they find out the truth.

Jen was so nice to me on Sunday though...woke up and she had two cards for me. One from the Cats (which was really funny) and one from her. I wanted to cry but I held it back. I didn't want her to feel sorry for me. She made me my favorite breakfast ..Bacon and Eggs!! Yum!!

I was in a bad mood all day but I was trying so hard not to take it out on Jen but it just kept coming out that way. I apologized to her many times yesterday:(

It seems that every time we go to a certain part of town we are always in the middle of somethinghappening and it's usually not good.

While we were exiting off the highway onto the street we needed we stopped at a red light. There was (as ususal) a man out there asking for personal donations to help him out when a car with tinted windows puled up in front of him and us. A man (punk boy) got out of the car walked a little towards him and threw the remainder of his drink all over him. I was instantly pissed and so was everyone all around us waiting in traffic. Who the fuck does this punk wanna be gang - memeber think he is. I wanted to get out and beat his ass but, they had drove off.

The funny things was that while they were throwing drinks on people they had not noticed an unmarked police car right in front of them! HA HA HA BITCHES THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!! The police officer immediatly pulled them over just about a 1/2 block from where this happened. I could still see everything from where I was stopped. The cop drew his gun, I saw the passenger (guy who did it) open the door and fall out onto his face taking cover and putting his hands out. The driver was pulled out of the car and slammed onto the hood (cop was pissed) then threw his ass on the street with his partner in crime.

We were in a turn lane so we had to drive away but I came back just to go by the police car and if I could see them I was going to stop just to flip them off and laugh at them!

By the time I made it back I seen a few more cop cars coming from all directions..WTF??
I drove past the scene and I could not see the guys anywhere. They bolted on the the officer...fuck!

I'm not sure if they got caught but I'm sure they did there were cops all over the place. I hope they beat their asses..punck fuckers!

!@#$%&*

One thing I fuckin hate is when I come into work and someone has been fuckin with my shit!
Some one came in here lastnight to try to set up our switch and decided to use my workbench as a testing station although it was clear that I had systems running on the network that I needed. Not only did they take them off line, the did not plug them back into the right ports.

AHHHHHHH!!

Clive Law

I went in to work around 10am today. We had a long night of driving in mad traffic on the way back from Chicago..well Bolingbrook IKEA. Construction all over 80 and it took hours to get through it.

So I was sitting there at my desk trying to figure out why one of the systems I was working on was not accepting a push from the SDO server and then it hit me!

A MIGRAINE

Yeah sucks ass because I knew it was going to be a long day with no medicine anywhere around. It was weird though I had a headache like usual but when I was standing it felt like the floor was moving up and down. I felt this before but only a few weeks ago and thought nothing about it.

Jen called the cell just after I felt this and asked if there was any way I could pick her up because she forgot she had a meeting downtown a few blocks from where I was at.

Picked her up and took the rest of the day off. I don’t want this to last all night so I need to relax the rest of the day. Funny thing is that where she is having her meeting is the same building where Wellpoints’ Corp office is at!

Oh well no one knows me here. My boss is at my location and my real boss is in Boston or something like that.

So here I am outside (I put my badge one anyways so I don’t look like some random guy sitting here) typing away about nothing. I feel kinda bad for leaving work early buy what the hell. I needed to.

It’s funny how no one out here will talk to each other. I have a guy pacing all around smoking and a girl standing right in front of me staring at her shoes trying to act like she’s busy..I know she’s not.

I can tell the Starbucks people here though..most of them have tan pants on of some sort and a black top. Talking all business like and about how important they are. I dunno I guess I’m a little different because when I’m outside chillin out the last thing I want to do is talk to someone I already work with is work. Blah!

I know I do this too but I have noticed out here when people are out here by themselves smoking it looks like they are on a mission and not enjoying it. Why do we so this..like it’s a task we have to do and we don’t like it.

I’m going to be here for an hour and a half sitting here doing nothing but, it’s better than trying to do brain work for the next few hours. Something I can’t handle right now.

I want to go lay down but I can’t, there’s no where to do that at. Grr this is starting to suck and I have about an hour to go. I can’t pick up a wireless connection anywhere out here. Well I know if I walked down the block a little I could but that would look alittle funny. Sitting in front of a building with a laptop. Sure to draw un-needed attention to myself could get robbed and then I would be really pissed.

Maybe I could go upstairs to the corp office and just sit around somewhere..I have my badge and there is no questioning it. Better not.

I went to a school the other day to see about training for my MCSA but they want 24k to do it! Ahhh what the hell. It’s all because (they say) they are an official Microsoft Academy and that’s all they focus on. They almost guarantee that in 6 months I would have my MCSA and MCSE.

I don’t know for some reason I’m thinking I could just go to a small community college and pay a lot less and get the same if not better training.

Upadate = Forgiven

The Update

When I had got home that night Jen was not there yet. I had a lot of time to cool off about it all but was still of course a little mad that anything like this had happened in the first place.

She had left me a note saying how sorry she was and how she should have never let her curiosity get the best of her.

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m awful, how’s that? Pathetic? Any better?

I feel like I could throw up right now, knowing that I have just fucked up the most important thing, and best thing in my life.”

It went on with more of the same

“I love you so much that I really scare myself. To be able to put myself out there is the scariest thing. I am so afraid of getting hurt, rejected, anything.”

“I know that I have done a terable thing and there are no excuses for it. I have completely fucked any trust that you have built for me and, I know how huge that is to you!”

This is the part of the letter that made me laugh a little and made me be a little more understanding about this.

“I love you so much I want to grow old with you, have your babies, have countless vacations, memories. I want to expierence the rest of my life with you. I want the house the dogs, the yard, grandchildren, sleepless nights, Christmas, birthdays…”

The list seemed to never end………

“trips to mexico, Italy, Japan, mowing yards, all the head aches, disappointments, tears, smiles, showers, first teeth, runny noses, camping, wine tastings, tango, salsa, foxtrot, finishing thought, words, changing diapers, arthritis, mistakes, learning…….

I started to laugh more and more and by the end of the letter I was no longer as mad as I thought I was.

When she got home I was outside on the deck laptop in hand writing about how mad I was earlier in the day and now how it was really nothing.

She came out and sat down in front of me. I had no idea what to say to her. If I were real mad still about it all I could ramble off a shit load of things. I was pretty calm though but I could not give in like that I thought.

I let her know that if this had been anyone else past or present I would no longer talk to them. I could cut them off like nothing I needed. Trust to me is #1 and you have to earn that from me and continue to show that you are able to handle it.

She started crying and again apologized and said how sorry she was. I gave my warning ..one that I have given everyone that I have dated before. Do not do anything like this again because I will give no warning and leave you. I know it was harsh but no one has really gone into my journals and things like that before, they had done smaller things to make me mistrust them so, for me to forgive her and let it go…I was making a real change in myself.

I know that in my past if anyone had done this to me I would have gone in an instant. I love Jen and I can honestly say that now because I’m staying and I want to. I don’t want to leave her over this..it was a mistake, we all make mistakes. We just have to learn from them.

Clive Law.

Are you going to be home tonight? Pt. # 2

more at 11 ;)

Are you going to be home tonight?

I'm pretty pissed today.
Lastnight Jen did not come to bed with me so I left the laptop out so she could use it and not bother me in the other room while I was sleeping.



This morning my security log popped up with access attempts on my docs and ones in my personal file that I have encrypted. I checked the user and it was Jen. She was looking at my mail archives that I had not yet encrypted.

On top of all that I looked into the web history only because of this and found that there was some William guy who's blog she has been reading. I don't know who this person is and why she's was trying really hard to find contact info on him. So yes automatically I got pissed because of the pre-reqs that had just been found.

I called her and kinda layed it all down. She has NEVER done anything to make me not trust her but this was it. I have issues with trust already and I have told her all about them and what not to do issue #1 stay out of my personal files.

I think this had chanhed my perception on this relationship...it always does and this is why things just don't work out for me.

She asked if I was going to be home when she got there tonight.

Still get a smile

6/4/2006

Well it was supposed to be a good relaxing day but I had to fuck it all up. Jen and I got up and around by 11am today. Thought we would go have some Starbucks then go mim-golfing. I showed Jen the art of War Driving and how many access points there were just from our house to the end of the block. She was pretty shocked to see how many of them were not secured.

I found a place in Fishers were would could go mini-golfing and we headed out. On our way there, there was a lot of congestion from some construction going on. I like an idiot was not paying attention to the cars in front of me.

BAM! The new Passat has been injured. I immediately felt like shit and about cried because I know she had just been in a car accident and has been warning me about my driving to close to people and way too fast.

I’m at home now but I still feel like shit about it all. I’m not sure if she’s actually not that pissed about it or if she’s just being nice to me about it until later on. I know it’s not going to cost too much to fix it all but still it’s going to cost at least the deducible.

After it was all said and done she asked if I still wanted to play some mini-golf. I was not really in the mood but she pretty much insisted that this accident should not ruin our day together.

I’m glad we did because it made me feel more at ease with this whole thing for just a few moments.

We did have a lot of fun there. We actually did not do as bad as I thought the both of us would. At the end of the day and after she had 4 beers I still get a smile from her.

Yeah I'm bored

The Living Room (in progress)

Too Early for pics

I had the bright idea of takin a pic of us right when we woke up.

Indy Pics

Finally a pic of Jen!

Pics from our Wine Tour

We love the Vino!

Xmen

Sat night Jen and I went out to see X-Men III. I'm always unsure of seeing movies at the theater..I don't like to spend 25$ + going to a hyped up movie and being disappointed in the end. Makes me feel like I wasted so much money.

I'm not a film critic but I liked, Why?
I just do.

Clive Law

IT Kick Out! Part #1

My boss is pissed today....

This is an odd occurance because he's not really the type of person who you would think that would go off like he did . You see he's kind of like Milton...he acts almost the same way and talks almost like him but in a Romanian accent.


So randomly some guys came into out office talking and looking around like we weren't even there. I swear I bumped into one and it was like he was playing the ignore game like back when I was a kid. "Oh, was that a bug?"

Fred was pissed because those guys were in here talking about how they were going to be taking this room over. We kinda knew this was going to happen but not anytime soon. We have this place filled to the gills with equiptment. We just set it all up so we are more productive. It took us a month to figure out all the wiring to get all the ports open and running along with other things. Now we have to leave.

See we have to be in a secure room because of all the laptops , PC's and Server. Where they would like to move us is to 3 cubes with no doors? Yeah well we will see how that one goes. We can't even get paper for out printer without someone having a fit about money.

Back to Fred / Milton....he was on their asses about it. He was tellin them that were not moving blah blah blah...I have never heard him cuss before but he was droppin Fuck like no tomarrow.

Tune in Tuesday for the conclusion of :

IT Kick Out!! Starring Milton.

Carb Day??

IT'S FRIDAY!!

Dave picked me up this morning and said that he hit hardly any traffic. As were were driving our usual route to work I mentined that everyone that works downtown must have taken the day off but us because there was no one to compete with for lanes. The strangeness continued on as we pulled into the parking garage we noticed the same thing. I think everyone had the same idea in the city ....stay home.

While we were in the elevator I struck up a conversation with a random lady. She informed us that today was "Carb Day".

Carb Day, what the hell is Carb Day?
I instantly thought that it was some local health day. May be there was a huge race some where like I always see around the city.

She went on to tell us that every year there is a HUGE all day festival at the track where all theIndy cars race. I turned on the radio and googled it...wow it's really a huge event and it looks like everyone knows about it but Dave and I.

Wow there are bands from all over coming and people from all over come to this thing as well. A full day from 8 am till ?. Filled with half naked women and men..alll drunk LOL.

So I guess something from Indiana this is what I'm missing: