Suicidal Thoughts

I have been having suicidal thought for the past few weeks. It's not because of Veronica I can say that for sure. I think I'm ok with her being gone. It has not botherd me as much.
I called her voicemail lastnight and I heard a message from some guy named Zac. I was disturbed for about a min but then I was actually ok.

I have been thinking about my life lately and how I have really fucked it all up. It does not look like I can even make it to Chicago if I wanted to. I'm about to have everything shut off and rent is due once again. Shit I still have not paid all of the past few months off yet.

I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have anything or anyone to back me up.

I got my check from work the other night. After Child support was taken out I had a total of $35.00 left.

FUCK this is becoming real shitty. I can't escape it either.
That same night that I got my check I came home and made a list of everyone that I needed to write a letter to.

Damn I can't even kill myself when I want to because I have so many letters to write. I just don't want anyone thinking they could of stopped it. I don't want anyone thinking it was their fault either.

I have to set a date for all of this and it has to be pretty soon.

Clive Law