Weird People

I really don't understand this place. I worked here for about a year under contract .. they decide that I don't meet the qualifications they set up and want to get rid of me. Today I was told they are talking more about hiring me on full time? All of the sudden I have the qualifications they need? Weird ass people.

Screwed!

So I'm getting a bit screwed at work .... the infra guy and I don't really get along so he's been talking behind my back as well as the leads back about me to the IT manager. Piece of shit I tell ya .. he has no idea I know about this so he comes with a smile every time he sees me. FUCK HIM!

I'm not going outta my way anymore to help him out I'm tired of his vegetarian dumb ass! I got ahold of the resumes for my replacement... wow ... nothing compared to me I tell ya.

Oh well I know when My release date will be .. they are going to make a decision at the beginning of October then I will have a 2 week notice after that so I have about 3 - 4 weeks left.

I have been submitting resumes all day today at work and at home... Chicago, Cleveland, Akron all over the place.

Jen and I pretty much decided on Akron/Cleveland unless I get a good offer in Chicago.

Clive

Going Nuts?

So we have determined that our child is of the Colic breed. "Every parents nightmare", from what I hear and can attest to. I'm not sure if it's me or just the whole colic thing but I think I'm going nuts!

Constant crying and only calm for minuets a day, most of the time when she is sleeping which is another battle to be discussed later. I feel bad for Jen because she deals with this day to day and doesn't get out much.

The shitty part is when I get home from work I'm mentally drained and hearing the screaming puts me in a bad mood. I have been trying my hardest to keep calm and sane but not so sure it's working anymore.

I have been going at it with Jen about stupid shit for the past few weeks and can't help it. I don't know what to do. I can't calm down, I hear crying and it automatically makes my adrenaline shoot sky high. Combine that with the stress of possibly loosing my job in the next month, and being mentally drained from the day to day duties I do, plus the battle to keep myself up on new technologies.

Fuck , sometimes I wished that I worked in a restaurant .. no need to really know too much or be smarter than the next guy.

My headaches are slowly creeping back in and I'm constantly tired from not wanting to go to bed early. I do'nt want to go to bed too early because I know Jen needs someone there with her .. to eat , bathroom whatever. Rylie wants to stay up late for god knows why.

I'm freaking out about Jen and I fighting ... if it goes on for too long this way i'm going to shut down. Not on purpose , it just happens that way. I know me and I know how my mind reacts to situations.

Am I going nuts?

Clive Law

Model: Amy Photos By: Jay (ME)

Model: Dara Photos By: Jay (ME)

Jen by J@Y

The Kid.. Our daughter Rylie

11 weeks

In about 11 weeks I'm going to be a father again. It's comin soon .. real soon.
I'm pretty excited about it.. to see what this little being will be like... will he/she act and look like me .. like Jen? What will this little one grow up to be like? It's exciting to think that I will have an influence on this childs life. With Xavier and Able I wasn't there like I should have been ... circumstances kept me away. I had to get out of that town or I would of ended up just like all the others there. Bored miserable and in jail.

Jen's mentioned the other day how she felt as if I was only thinking about the baby and not her ... not true. I am pretty excited about the baby and I talk about how I want to do all these things with him/her but in my thoughts I have included her as well.

Clive

Lazy People

What is it with some people not wanting to work? I have been dealing with this guy at work who in his own words told me he doesn't belive in hard work. He went on to say how it would never get you anywhere. He's 33 and been nothing but a desktop support guy all his life. He doesn't have any expierence with anything else besides that. Not even Active Directory! yet for some reason he thinks he should be a supervisor?? Explain that to me..please.

He bitched about how he wanted to do more and have more projects but the small ones he's given he can't or refuses to complete. He does nothing but sit at his desk and surf the net looking for get rich quick schemes. He said he hates workin in IT but yet doesn't do anything about it.

I fuckin hate people like that!! I want I want but don't do shit about it.. I went from making 18k to 39k in about a year.. how? Hard fuckin work... beating the books and my brain till I felt it swell. Now I can do more and I love it.

How can anyone have the attitude that the world owes them everything? He came to this country to make a better life I suppose but thinks we (world) should hand it to him. FUCK HIM.. I'm tired of pickin up the slack for this guy. I'm tired of workin my ass off at work and he gets to sit there doing nothing!!

He has been pissed at me lately because I have been forcing him to work .. now he doesn't have time to do stupid shit... oh well!
Lazy Lazy Lazy!!

Strange

Strange things happen to me sometimes....
So I wrote that blog about not having friends and shit like that. Yesterday right after I posted that I got an email from a recruiter looking for this:

Here you go.



This is at least 1 year long maybe contract to hire.

Job Description

Position Description

Administration of phase II of SAP ERP implementation.

Take detailed notes at business meetings

Assist project manager writing/building the project plan.

Must be technically savvy. But not technical

Rate $30.00 hr


Now I told him I didn't know alot of SAP just now getting Basis down and he said it's "Not a show stopper"

We went on to talk about it and it's in Cleveland... where all my friends are at! I told him what I could do and could not... he thought I should interview anyways.

I talked to Jen about it and she was not to sure about moving there... she does not want to be to far from her family with the baby coming. I can understand that but I can't pass this up ... I would be a fool!

His last email to me was when would I be available to start and would I have to give notice? Wow .. so I called Jason back home in Akron.. he's really excited and went on to say how he had no friends over there anymore.. everyone has their own lives and have moved away. Another funny thing too...Ann Marie was there and she actually said hi to me. I have been calling emailing and myspacing her ass for a long time with no response... the last time I saw her she got pissed at me because I didn't like her abusive boyfriend. After that she would not talk to me anymore.

Things have taken a strange but good turn.

Clive

Destination Nowhere

This is going to sound so bad and I know anyone reading it without any background on me is going to think I'm just a complete asshole but here it goes.

I'm not sure if I'm in love with Jen anymore. I can't tell what it is. We have fallen into this rut of daily activities that I'm just not used to having. We go to work ... come home , dinner watch the same shows, bed, start again. Weekends are a bore too.

This last weekend we did nothing but sit around. Some days it's nice but I'm starting not to like it.


On Saturday I just wanted to leave .. drive off somewhere with or without her and go nowhere for awhile ... like a day. Just drive with no destination.

I'm going crazy once again. I feel this sometimes and don't know how to handle it. I question my relationship with Jen on constant intervals throughout the day. I can't have sex with her anymore .. I'm not attracted to her. On the other hand I feel real bad for feeling this way.


I see other girls and I know I could be dating them but on the other hand I fell in love with Jen personality .. .those girls didn't really have one. No ambitions.

I want to do more. I want us both to do more together... I like wandering the Earth taking pictures.. she thinks I'm weird.

I don't know what to do.

Clive Law

Lawrence Welk Meets Velvet Underground

The Underground

L@y0ff D@yz

It's officially layoff day here @ work. I knew this was going to happen I think everyone did but had no idea when it was coming.

Everyone is in a meeting ... I don't see anyone in their offices. I only know for sure that the R&D guys are going.

Well I started to write this at the beginning of my day and only now got back to it. It was an interesting day... I thankfully was not let go. I was told by the president of the company we had nothing to worry about. Whew!

Cool Chick

Awesome Shit!

Awesome Shit!

SAP

Great news today... Looks like I'm going to receive formal training on SAP!!

I have been killin myself reading books and everything else just to stay on top of it so when it comes time for me to get involved I would be ready.

I got this email from my boss:

Hi Jay!

Thanks for proactively getting into SAP stuff...currently the team is doing the conf room Pilot with key users, basically question and answer section related to business logic and process... we will have more formal training on SAP later in the project, you should be able to effeciently get to know SAP, and certainly welcome to join in those sections.

Thanks,
G.Y

A Couch and a Gun??

So we have been waiting to get our defective couch replaced for about 5 weeks. I called, Jen called and all we get are promises on how they will be out to take a look at it and get it done.

Yeah I may be being a little picky but when I paid this much for a couch I kinda expect it to be perfect in condition. We got the couch awhile back and notified them about it's condition but there were pretty busy and could not really set a time to get out here... No problem I will call back in a few weeks and see how things are going.

That was 5 weeks ago... They made several appointments saying they would come out and replace it... on the 1st attempt they called Jen and said our address doesn't exist !! WTF!!

Yea so we went on with excuses for a while....

Finally they came out the other day with the couch. I was taking a nap and heard Jen talking to someone at the door. She told me that the delivery guy said he was not going to put on the legs for us.

So yeah I was pretty pissed... went outside and talked to the guy and asked why. He explained some shit to me whatever... then he called his boss back at the store...he started cussing her out and then the driver came out of the truck talking shit to me for no reason at all.

He was a little M&M rappper wanne be fuck off. Hat turned to the side... Fubu jacket on white shirt with real baggy pants talking like he was a black guy.. well trying anyways. I fuckin lost it...

"Who the fuck is talking to you??"

I can't remember what he said but he then refused to help his partner bring the couch up. His partner was trying to get him to come out of the van but he turned up his shitty rap music and rolled away.

I immidiately went upstairs ... got Jen and off I was right behind them to talk to their boss.

Jen I think was more pissed than I was.... guess you don't mess with pregnant women huh. Jen ran up to the little punk shit and started yelling at him. He said something like You betta get yo gurl nigga ... I had to laugh alittle about it but then he stepped back threw off his jacket and took off his gloves. I jumped in front of Jen and pushed him back and asked him if he was intending on fighting because I would break his neck. He stepped back and talked more shit and called someone like he had a posse on standby just in case these things go on LOL.

I once again asked him if he was feelin tough that day.. he didn't say anything. I walked into the store at that point yelling my ass of because of all this shit. The manager there kept sayin how embarrassed she was and she had no idea what was into him. She said that he has never acted like that before and that he was so mild tempered...yeah right!!

I looked outside and noticed he was walking around the parking lot with his shirt off trying to show off his little bones and tatoos. About 10 mins later I happened to look out again and he was reaching under his car seat and looking around.

I couldn't take any chances with Jen there. I called the police and asked them to check it out before I exited the store. They came but he had left already. Made the police report just in case I run into him later they know who to look for.


Damn if that wasn't enough... the Owner and the left over Delivery guy came by and delivered the new couch making sure to strip the screws for the legs and left. I was outside talking to one of my neighbors when his wife came from around the side of the building and asked why there was a couch outside?

Well.. looks like they had no need for the couch they replaced so they left it right out front. There's nothing really wrong with it unless you payed for a brand new one. So we carried it upstairs and now I have 2. Thanks fuckos!!

Friends?

I'm kinda sad today....

I hopped on myspace and noticed that none of my "real" friends never call me or anything like that anymore.

I would like to go and visit them sometime but now I don't know. I think I would feel ackward and like I should not be there.

I could just be being a baby about it all but it's just that I'm always the one calling them.. never any calls from them.

Pics

More pics I have taken recently:

Chicago Sheri

God... reading shit from a year ago I have noticed my life has really changed for the better. I used to work at a place called Calltech in Fishers, Indiana. I was making 9$ an hour and had $175 taken out of every check week by week. I could of swore I was going to die or be in jail. There were a few good things that came out of it all .. I met a really cool lady called Chicago Sheri... she pulled me out of my funk online even and gave me some motivation.

I can't thank you enough Sheri! You words of encouragement gave me hope and I pulled out of that hell hole I was in. I needed help and you were there for me and you had no clue who I was! You are indeed a great friend!

Clive

SAP

So today they finally got up the site to site VPN from Masa. A while back Allen shad given me access to SAP so I can start learning and playing around more with it. He thought it was cool that I wanted to get involved.

So today I logged in and told Brandon that the VPN is working... well he got all kinds of pissed because he did not have access to it. He went on about how he had not even been inside it yet and how he still has not read through the docs that were given to him. He went on and on about how complicated it was with all these layers and shit like that. Basically he was pissed because I knew something he didn't. He has this ego thing I now know if out of hand. He wanted to know who gave me access and why I had it. I told him it was because I was wanting to know more about it so it was granted to me.

So he sent an email out to the Allen and CC: my boss on it asking why I would need this.. basically trying to start shit. Allen is in China workin on SAP from that end and gathering info for all the databases so they have some live data to work with when the team comes back to the US.

Allen jumped on AIM and told me all of this info. I was pissed off and so was he. We basically made a story up between us so I don't get in trouble for misuse of a server so I'm covered.. Allen is the Golden Child in IT.

He did not see a problem with what I was doing at all... All that Brandon was doing was trying to discourage me from learning something he didn't. Allen agreed.

So I got my hands on some official training lessons from SAP (can't say how ;) ) but I am already in the middle of Basis Training and kickin ass on it! I'm waiting for my chance to kick Brandons ass on this and make him look stupid for trying to make me feel like I had no clue about what was going on.

Clive

Shopping

We went baby shopping today, comparing prices on things were gonna need for when the baby arrives.

I have heard this before from my mother about how things have changed and how there were so many things out there for an easier life with the new one.

I'm on a stroller kick... I found one at Burlington and other stores that I love. It's "Built SUV Tough!"

I like this one a lot and so does Jen ... I would have bought it right away but that's not the way she does things. Plus her parents want to get us a bunch of things.

I can see myself strollin little Leo around in this one .... I still think it's a boy but she has other ideas plus we can't agree on a girls name for the life of us. I'm hoping it's a boy for that reason. So yeah back when I first became a father @ oh 15 .. I didn't have options like these. I had basic crappy thing to carry around that took days to put together and were not real safe.

It's nice to see we have options !!
Clive

Apartments

Well it's been a bit since I have been able to write anything. I have been working like a mad man although it seems some days it doesn't matter.

Jen and I have been shopping around for a new apartment. I have no idea how many we have looked at but it's been a lot. Well I shouldn't say that... there were some that we just drove by and noticed it was not a place we wanted to live at. There's something about a row of apartments with broken blinds and some windows that were either covered with bed sheets or newspaper that makes you not want to stop into the leasing office.

It's funny how they make it look so nice somehow in the ads in the apartment guides but it's a whole new story when you get there. And what's with this pet fee and pet rental along with the pet deposit? Damn it's getting nuts!


So after viewing some of the ratings on the places before hand I was armed today with a lot of interesting questions for the rent people. I think some of them were shocked at the fact that I knew about a few issues that were in their pasts.

We had not decided on a place yet but I am leaning over more towards a townhouse. We found one that we both pretty much like but we have to do a little more budgeting to make it work with the new baby on the way.

New baby... well I also did some research on childcare. I put an ad out on craigslist asking people for some advice in the childcare section.... pretty cool because people actually responded with very good advice including state links to see if some people have had complaints against their businesses and also to make sure that their license it up to date.

Fun stuff... I don't think I have really cared about where I have lived before as long as everyone left me alone.. now I have a little one on the way and I'm older thinking about the things that matter.

Ciao,

Clive

SM

Went to Sallie Mae yesterday...
After rejecting me twice they finally offered me a position. Walked in and talked to the Big Man of the place. I asked him to describe in detail what the job would be like from day to day. He said everything I did not want to hear. Basically they were looking for a Monkey to move computers and do field support. No thanks mister.

I kinda pissed the guy off because I let him in on a little secret... I would be bored! I had no better way of sayin it to him... honestly I could not come up with a better way of sayin it. He got kinda red in the face and said: "You know we are very very picky about who we hire here and it says a lot that you are here right now."

Oh well I pretty much told him I needed more of a challenge. The room was pretty quiet and uncomfortable at that time...not for me.. I felt fine. He said he would keep me in mind for anything else in the future.

H@PPY MY B-DAY!

Happy it's my B-day!! I'm 29 .. scarey I tell ya.
Jen made me some cupcakes sang me the Bday song. Goood stuff!

I got The Chappel Show Season 1 and The Muppet Show Season 1 and a beard trimmer!! I have been wanting the beard trimmer for a while now... I have been playin around with one for a few months now but it gets to huge and I shave it all off. So now I can keep one!


So on Friday I received a call from Sallie Mae.. a company I had interviewed with several times to be turned down twice. The first time they called me out of the blue wanting me to interview for one job.. called a few days later and said no...called me 2 weeks after that ... ran me through some tests (which I blew away!) and got the same news again. Now they called me again for the 3rd time and just offered me the job over the phone. I chose not to make a decision yet on it.. I'm at a great place now only on contract though and it's about to come up for renewal .. or not..who knows. The whole plan as explained by my recruiter was that they wanted to bring 2 guys on under contract...hire one on and keep the other on a temp basis. 3 month contract to be extended upon circumstances. I told my recruiter about the offer and he immediatly asked what he could do to keep me on.

Grrrr see here's the problem...I with TTE I am learning soo much and I'm just getting into SAP and server management..hours are flexable and it's always a challenge. With SM I would be making around 50k a year ...stable employment but no job challenge and a stiff staff and no flexable hours.

I have a baby on the way ... so I could take the high paying job now...and be bored with it and possably hate it and really add nothing to my resume and expierence or stay with a lower paying job with a raise in a month of only $2.oo and a possible extention of 6 months.

Next Day.....

Well I talked to my recruiter today and he said that I can get the 6 month extention and a $2.00 raise for sure if I were to stay. I guess it's good news but I also want to hear what the other guys have to say in the morning. I dunno ... let's see what happens.

Clive Law