New York Here I Come

God it's been a long time since I have even looked at Blogger.com let alone had time to write anything.

For the past year I have been taking a lot of pics... random things ... people etc. I somehow got into Fashion Photography and have all of the sudden been thrown into a lot more than I anticipated.

I shot a few Fashion shows and got published in some local mags around here... from there I got noticed by a few designers .. I have no idea why they liked my shooting style but they did. I began with a simple point and shoot camera. Taking pics really just for me and posted them on myspace. I started to get a reaction from all sorts of people. They started commenting on how I has my own style and how it was a little odd but still interesting. I made a deal with a guy off craigslist.. he was selling a camera .. a Canon XTi with an 18-55 mm stock lens for $800. I had a laptop that I no longer needed so I asked him if he wanted to trade. He accepted and off I was .. shooting everything like a madman.

My first shot at shooting fashion was at the Indianapolis Black Expo. After that I got published in the local mag. From there ... the designers called... asked if I wanted to have a similar expierence with the Midwest Fashion Week Shows. I accepted and spent about an 8 hour day there.. I got some decent shots but nothing to brag about. I made alot of connections though.. saw alot of people that I had seen before at the Expo.


From there I learned it was all like the political game I had to play in Akron and Cleveland. It's all who you know and not what you know. I contacted another designer and then another just to say hi and let them know I was interested in shooting their clothes.


Now after all of that and much more ... I'm off to shoot the Mercedes Bens New York Fashion Week shows! It was a goal of mine but not for a long time. It's really hard to get into those tents in Bryant Park... I was confirmed last week, I'm accredited and I'm in.


It's a little bit of a nerve fuck because I'm gonna be around all of these celebs and super models. I'm a nobody compared to them. When I get back I will have my pics published in a few publications as well as a gallery night in the city put on by a promotional group. I dunno it's all going so fast.

This past Sat, I got to meet and hang out with Megan McNierney (A-Model) during a casting call.. I will more than likely hang out with her and a few other designers while I'm in NYC after the shows.

I just did a shoot for another designer .. and my pics I took , one will be on the cover. In March also that same publication will do a 5 page feature on me.

I have been working my ass off for this but like I mentioned before .... it's all coming so fast.

Weird People

I really don't understand this place. I worked here for about a year under contract .. they decide that I don't meet the qualifications they set up and want to get rid of me. Today I was told they are talking more about hiring me on full time? All of the sudden I have the qualifications they need? Weird ass people.

Screwed!

So I'm getting a bit screwed at work .... the infra guy and I don't really get along so he's been talking behind my back as well as the leads back about me to the IT manager. Piece of shit I tell ya .. he has no idea I know about this so he comes with a smile every time he sees me. FUCK HIM!

I'm not going outta my way anymore to help him out I'm tired of his vegetarian dumb ass! I got ahold of the resumes for my replacement... wow ... nothing compared to me I tell ya.

Oh well I know when My release date will be .. they are going to make a decision at the beginning of October then I will have a 2 week notice after that so I have about 3 - 4 weeks left.

I have been submitting resumes all day today at work and at home... Chicago, Cleveland, Akron all over the place.

Jen and I pretty much decided on Akron/Cleveland unless I get a good offer in Chicago.

Clive

Going Nuts?

So we have determined that our child is of the Colic breed. "Every parents nightmare", from what I hear and can attest to. I'm not sure if it's me or just the whole colic thing but I think I'm going nuts!

Constant crying and only calm for minuets a day, most of the time when she is sleeping which is another battle to be discussed later. I feel bad for Jen because she deals with this day to day and doesn't get out much.

The shitty part is when I get home from work I'm mentally drained and hearing the screaming puts me in a bad mood. I have been trying my hardest to keep calm and sane but not so sure it's working anymore.

I have been going at it with Jen about stupid shit for the past few weeks and can't help it. I don't know what to do. I can't calm down, I hear crying and it automatically makes my adrenaline shoot sky high. Combine that with the stress of possibly loosing my job in the next month, and being mentally drained from the day to day duties I do, plus the battle to keep myself up on new technologies.

Fuck , sometimes I wished that I worked in a restaurant .. no need to really know too much or be smarter than the next guy.

My headaches are slowly creeping back in and I'm constantly tired from not wanting to go to bed early. I do'nt want to go to bed too early because I know Jen needs someone there with her .. to eat , bathroom whatever. Rylie wants to stay up late for god knows why.

I'm freaking out about Jen and I fighting ... if it goes on for too long this way i'm going to shut down. Not on purpose , it just happens that way. I know me and I know how my mind reacts to situations.

Am I going nuts?

Clive Law

Model: Amy Photos By: Jay (ME)

Model: Dara Photos By: Jay (ME)

Jen by J@Y

The Kid.. Our daughter Rylie

11 weeks

In about 11 weeks I'm going to be a father again. It's comin soon .. real soon.
I'm pretty excited about it.. to see what this little being will be like... will he/she act and look like me .. like Jen? What will this little one grow up to be like? It's exciting to think that I will have an influence on this childs life. With Xavier and Able I wasn't there like I should have been ... circumstances kept me away. I had to get out of that town or I would of ended up just like all the others there. Bored miserable and in jail.

Jen's mentioned the other day how she felt as if I was only thinking about the baby and not her ... not true. I am pretty excited about the baby and I talk about how I want to do all these things with him/her but in my thoughts I have included her as well.

Clive

Lazy People

What is it with some people not wanting to work? I have been dealing with this guy at work who in his own words told me he doesn't belive in hard work. He went on to say how it would never get you anywhere. He's 33 and been nothing but a desktop support guy all his life. He doesn't have any expierence with anything else besides that. Not even Active Directory! yet for some reason he thinks he should be a supervisor?? Explain that to me..please.

He bitched about how he wanted to do more and have more projects but the small ones he's given he can't or refuses to complete. He does nothing but sit at his desk and surf the net looking for get rich quick schemes. He said he hates workin in IT but yet doesn't do anything about it.

I fuckin hate people like that!! I want I want but don't do shit about it.. I went from making 18k to 39k in about a year.. how? Hard fuckin work... beating the books and my brain till I felt it swell. Now I can do more and I love it.

How can anyone have the attitude that the world owes them everything? He came to this country to make a better life I suppose but thinks we (world) should hand it to him. FUCK HIM.. I'm tired of pickin up the slack for this guy. I'm tired of workin my ass off at work and he gets to sit there doing nothing!!

He has been pissed at me lately because I have been forcing him to work .. now he doesn't have time to do stupid shit... oh well!
Lazy Lazy Lazy!!

Strange

Strange things happen to me sometimes....
So I wrote that blog about not having friends and shit like that. Yesterday right after I posted that I got an email from a recruiter looking for this:

Here you go.



This is at least 1 year long maybe contract to hire.

Job Description

Position Description

Administration of phase II of SAP ERP implementation.

Take detailed notes at business meetings

Assist project manager writing/building the project plan.

Must be technically savvy. But not technical

Rate $30.00 hr


Now I told him I didn't know alot of SAP just now getting Basis down and he said it's "Not a show stopper"

We went on to talk about it and it's in Cleveland... where all my friends are at! I told him what I could do and could not... he thought I should interview anyways.

I talked to Jen about it and she was not to sure about moving there... she does not want to be to far from her family with the baby coming. I can understand that but I can't pass this up ... I would be a fool!

His last email to me was when would I be available to start and would I have to give notice? Wow .. so I called Jason back home in Akron.. he's really excited and went on to say how he had no friends over there anymore.. everyone has their own lives and have moved away. Another funny thing too...Ann Marie was there and she actually said hi to me. I have been calling emailing and myspacing her ass for a long time with no response... the last time I saw her she got pissed at me because I didn't like her abusive boyfriend. After that she would not talk to me anymore.

Things have taken a strange but good turn.

Clive

Destination Nowhere

This is going to sound so bad and I know anyone reading it without any background on me is going to think I'm just a complete asshole but here it goes.

I'm not sure if I'm in love with Jen anymore. I can't tell what it is. We have fallen into this rut of daily activities that I'm just not used to having. We go to work ... come home , dinner watch the same shows, bed, start again. Weekends are a bore too.

This last weekend we did nothing but sit around. Some days it's nice but I'm starting not to like it.


On Saturday I just wanted to leave .. drive off somewhere with or without her and go nowhere for awhile ... like a day. Just drive with no destination.

I'm going crazy once again. I feel this sometimes and don't know how to handle it. I question my relationship with Jen on constant intervals throughout the day. I can't have sex with her anymore .. I'm not attracted to her. On the other hand I feel real bad for feeling this way.


I see other girls and I know I could be dating them but on the other hand I fell in love with Jen personality .. .those girls didn't really have one. No ambitions.

I want to do more. I want us both to do more together... I like wandering the Earth taking pictures.. she thinks I'm weird.

I don't know what to do.

Clive Law

Lawrence Welk Meets Velvet Underground

The Underground

L@y0ff D@yz

It's officially layoff day here @ work. I knew this was going to happen I think everyone did but had no idea when it was coming.

Everyone is in a meeting ... I don't see anyone in their offices. I only know for sure that the R&D guys are going.

Well I started to write this at the beginning of my day and only now got back to it. It was an interesting day... I thankfully was not let go. I was told by the president of the company we had nothing to worry about. Whew!

Cool Chick

Awesome Shit!

Awesome Shit!

SAP

Great news today... Looks like I'm going to receive formal training on SAP!!

I have been killin myself reading books and everything else just to stay on top of it so when it comes time for me to get involved I would be ready.

I got this email from my boss:

Hi Jay!

Thanks for proactively getting into SAP stuff...currently the team is doing the conf room Pilot with key users, basically question and answer section related to business logic and process... we will have more formal training on SAP later in the project, you should be able to effeciently get to know SAP, and certainly welcome to join in those sections.

Thanks,
G.Y

A Couch and a Gun??

So we have been waiting to get our defective couch replaced for about 5 weeks. I called, Jen called and all we get are promises on how they will be out to take a look at it and get it done.

Yeah I may be being a little picky but when I paid this much for a couch I kinda expect it to be perfect in condition. We got the couch awhile back and notified them about it's condition but there were pretty busy and could not really set a time to get out here... No problem I will call back in a few weeks and see how things are going.

That was 5 weeks ago... They made several appointments saying they would come out and replace it... on the 1st attempt they called Jen and said our address doesn't exist !! WTF!!

Yea so we went on with excuses for a while....

Finally they came out the other day with the couch. I was taking a nap and heard Jen talking to someone at the door. She told me that the delivery guy said he was not going to put on the legs for us.

So yeah I was pretty pissed... went outside and talked to the guy and asked why. He explained some shit to me whatever... then he called his boss back at the store...he started cussing her out and then the driver came out of the truck talking shit to me for no reason at all.

He was a little M&M rappper wanne be fuck off. Hat turned to the side... Fubu jacket on white shirt with real baggy pants talking like he was a black guy.. well trying anyways. I fuckin lost it...

"Who the fuck is talking to you??"

I can't remember what he said but he then refused to help his partner bring the couch up. His partner was trying to get him to come out of the van but he turned up his shitty rap music and rolled away.

I immidiately went upstairs ... got Jen and off I was right behind them to talk to their boss.

Jen I think was more pissed than I was.... guess you don't mess with pregnant women huh. Jen ran up to the little punk shit and started yelling at him. He said something like You betta get yo gurl nigga ... I had to laugh alittle about it but then he stepped back threw off his jacket and took off his gloves. I jumped in front of Jen and pushed him back and asked him if he was intending on fighting because I would break his neck. He stepped back and talked more shit and called someone like he had a posse on standby just in case these things go on LOL.

I once again asked him if he was feelin tough that day.. he didn't say anything. I walked into the store at that point yelling my ass of because of all this shit. The manager there kept sayin how embarrassed she was and she had no idea what was into him. She said that he has never acted like that before and that he was so mild tempered...yeah right!!

I looked outside and noticed he was walking around the parking lot with his shirt off trying to show off his little bones and tatoos. About 10 mins later I happened to look out again and he was reaching under his car seat and looking around.

I couldn't take any chances with Jen there. I called the police and asked them to check it out before I exited the store. They came but he had left already. Made the police report just in case I run into him later they know who to look for.


Damn if that wasn't enough... the Owner and the left over Delivery guy came by and delivered the new couch making sure to strip the screws for the legs and left. I was outside talking to one of my neighbors when his wife came from around the side of the building and asked why there was a couch outside?

Well.. looks like they had no need for the couch they replaced so they left it right out front. There's nothing really wrong with it unless you payed for a brand new one. So we carried it upstairs and now I have 2. Thanks fuckos!!